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New Eve

A poem by Chase Ambler

misouri gulch sunrise

The setting sun lights up the snow in orange glow

striped by shadows cast from tree trunks.

The day wanes on the fresh innocence of that powder.

Night is harsh and hardens the pack to an icier consistency.

I can’t help but compare it to my son as we move to another calendar.

The year of his birth is falling away and another will follow.

Another in which he will harden by life’s harsh experiences.

I carry him to bed, asleep in my arms, and stare down at his resting face.

That same swirl of emotions accompanies this eve.

 

Relief that he has finally gone to sleep.

Awe at his perfect features as only a parent can see.

Joy of taking care of someone so completely helpless.

Trepidation that he will awake and reset the entire evening’s clock.

Dread that he won’t wake and will slip away from something unknown.

The daily trudge will happen again in a few hours;

the daily elation will happen again in a few hours.

 

In a few hours the year of his birth will be gone forever,

an innocence of the past as he goes on to learn movement, communication, and contemplation

as he joins the world in a more solid fashion and begins to meld into society

just as we all bumble along somewhere on that spectrum trying to find our place.

That same swirl of emotions accompanies this eve.

 

Relief that he will finally be more independent.

Awe as he will gain knowledge faster than we can fathom.

Joy of seeing him as he will transform into his own person.

Trepidation that the world will crush him and hurt him.

Dread that something will go wrong, so very wrong it alters his life.

The yearly trudge will happen again in a few hours;

the yearly elation will happen again in a few hours.

 

The sun has fallen behind the mountains now.

The cycle has ended,

yet it continues

as we grow, and learn,

and hurt, and love,

and find joy, and feel loss,

and discover, and mature,

and regress, and heal,

and fight for our lives and our children’s lives and our planet’s life.

We move into another day,

another day that he wakes without complication

to a world he’s just discovering.

Let’s view this world the same,

with awe, wonder, excitement, passion,

and a lust for knowledge.

Let’s begin this new year truly New.

 

~ Reflection ~

Driving home from my mother’s house, the sun was setting the snow aglow, and it got me thinking about the end of this year and the beginning of the next. For some strange reason it made me think of putting my five month old son to bed and the emotions that accompany it. While the kids napped, I hammered out this quick poem. While it may not be polished or where I would like it to be, its subject matter meant I had to finish it this New Year’s Eve. I hope you enjoy it and have a great New Year!


Chase Ambelr - Headshot

Chase Ambler is an American writer who spent his childhood in South and Southeast Asia. His life has been shaped by strange obsessions: heavy metal music, mountains, travel, and soccer. These subjects have all molded his poetry and prose in some way, but the birth of his two children may have the greatest impact yet. He currently lives with his wife, daughter, son, and dog in Colorado. If one went looking for Chase, they could find him anywhere from changing diapers to summiting 14,000 foot mountains, but odds are he’s in front of the computer working on his next novel.

 

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